Livestock drama
“Let’s put pool noodles on the goat’s horns!” says a teenager.
“Why would you, ” I begin, but they have already stampeded out of the house. I shrug.
It turns out that when someone puts pool noodles on a goat’s horns, the goat doesn’t really care. They’re very light, after all, and she can’t see them. You know who cares? Who cares a LOT?
the HORSE. Hero took one look at Nutmeg wearing pool noodles and ran away. You know who doesn’t want to be left alone, ever? Nutmeg. Who went trotting after Hero because he was leaving her.
Hero, seeing that the eldritch abomination was after him, picked up speed. Nutmeg went into a full run. My kids started chasing Nutmeg to get the pool noodles off her, but could not catch her, because she’s surprisingly fast. The dogs were bringing up the rear, just happy to be going for a pleasant run. Hero was in a panic, leading a parade that he did not want.
This all resolved. One noodle feel off; the kids eventually cornered Nutmeg and removed the other one. Just - a day at a farm, I guess.
10/02/20
If you do not see this in your mind, and consequently almost die, I do not know if we have anything in common.
(via driftinginburgerland)
It seemed to be a video clip, but there was no visual hint for it to be, but then I tapped it and the world became a much better place. Ji-mi-ny.
generally a satisfying category structure, but jam is chunks of fruit in a jelly substrate. if the substrate is too liquid your toast gets soggy with not enough coverage in between chunks of fruit. “liquid” in this jam description suggests bad jam. i will die on this hill
also shoutout to German which just says “Marmelade” for everything like good luck in your grocery adventures
FWIW I was taught (for English) that jam is a spreadable preserve made from non-citrus fruits, marmalade is from oranges.
100% with you that the substrate must not be the consistency of a thick syrup, but jelly for me stands up on its own, like a properly cooled pudding would - ideally, jam “juice” is the consistency of yoghurt, for me. A conserve is even worse though, that should be very much specified it’s swimming in liquid, as it is a shelf-stable kompót/compotte.
Can you tell I’m peckish?
that’s a great rule of thumb for marmalade in English because 99/100 times it means orange marmalade.
broadly, the only fruits commonly jarred with rind and all are citrus, and seville oranges are classically used.
i do think, though, that marmalade should be assumed to contain rind, and that the rind is a defining factor.
“orange marmalade” without any rind is
sold as a concession to pussiesoffered for children and people with texture issuesavailable and many prefer it, but it’s not classic. imo it’s technically an orange jelly. amusingly, Tiptree labels theirs as an orange jelly but with ‘marmalade’ in smaller type so that the orange jelly buyers don’t feel excluded. well done, brand team: (edit: see f/u post there is a “no peel marmalade” also and i have a lot of questions)top brands like Tiptree (a good Big Marmalade brand and an easy way to go down the marmalade rabbit hole: not definitive but fun to peruse and illustrative) give you lots of choices re eg coarse-cut vs fine-cut bits of rind as well as degree of bitterness, which is a function of the quantity of rind as well as the type of orange, and generally include a no-rind option. if you get into marmalade enough you’ll see other types of orange, most of which are less bitter even with plenty of rind in, but also lemon, lime, grapefruit, blends, exotics. i, in what apparently is my self-anointed capacity as Marmalade Category Structure Czar, rule that all citrus marmalades are legit marmalades, but beyond citrus it’s iffy. if the rind is used, especially if it’s prominent in the texture of the jam, or if the jam is unusually bitter as basically-sweet jams go, the thing can probably make a marmalade case for itself.
i’ve occasionally seen the word “marmalade” used for savory-sweet vegetable chutneys to be used as sauces. this mostly suggests to me that the product branders or menu/recipe writers are trying to be all fancy-rustic. i’d allow it under poetic license iff coarse jammy texture with bits of citrus rind in it; strain out the rind, you’re on thin ice; jam that’s never met a citrus fruit in its life, you’re a chutney, go home.
Just to echo the citrus thing - have some British staples.
For some reason (Brexit?) Rose’s marmalades have become bloody hard to find in Ireland, and even Tesco - who used to make a very good Lemon-Lime - have discontinued it.
At this rate we’ll end up making our own.
Praised be the fruit preserves defenders of Tumblr. Lemon and lime marmalade? Fresh horses, PLEASE!
(via neil-gaiman)
The Coffeyville Weekly Journal, Kansas, May 18, 1894
Fucking Steve fucking died today.
“How to step out of the picture” a new Secret Knots comic! I hope you like it.
As usual, this webcomic is made possible by the support of kind Patreon followers. Check out the different tiers (there’s even a free one!) for extra content, sketches and more.
Being totally unprepared is the best way to find new comics. Here you go.
The Best News of Last Week - March 18
1. FDA to Finally Outlaw Soda Ingredient Prohibited Around The World
An ingredient once commonly used in citrus-flavored sodas to keep the tangy taste mixed thoroughly through the beverage could finally be banned for good across the US. BVO, or brominated vegetable oil, is already banned in many countries, including India, Japan, and nations of the European Union, and was outlawed in the state of California in October 2022.
2. AI makes breakthrough discovery in battle to cure prostate cancer
Scientists have used AI to reveal a new form of aggressive prostate cancer which could revolutionise how the disease is diagnosed and treated.
A Cancer Research UK-funded study found prostate cancer, which affects one in eight men in their lifetime, includes two subtypes. It is hoped the findings could save thousands of lives in future and revolutionise how the cancer is diagnosed and treated.
3. “Inverse vaccine” shows potential to treat multiple sclerosis and other autoimmune diseases
A new type of vaccine developed by researchers at the University of Chicago’s Pritzker School of Molecular Engineering (PME) has shown in the lab setting that it can completely reverse autoimmune diseases like multiple sclerosis and type 1 diabetes — all without shutting down the rest of the immune system.
4. Paris 2024 Olympics makes history with unprecedented full gender parity
In a historic move, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has distributed equal quotas for female and male athletes for the upcoming Olympic Games in Paris 2024. It is the first time The Olympics will have full gender parity and is a significant milestone in the pursuit of equal representation and opportunities for women in sports.
Biased media coverage lead girls and boys to abandon sports.
5. Restored coral reefs can grow as fast as healthy reefs in just 4 years, new research shows
Planting new coral in degraded reefs can lead to rapid recovery – with restored reefs growing as fast as healthy reefs after just four years. Researchers studied these reefs to assess whether coral restoration can bring back the important ecosystem functions of a healthy reef.
“The speed of recovery we saw is incredible,” said lead author Dr Ines Lange, from the University of Exeter.
6. EU regulators pass the planet’s first sweeping AI regulations
The EU is banning practices that it believes will threaten citizens’ rights. “Biometric categorization systems based on sensitive characteristics” will be outlawed, as will the “untargeted scraping” of images of faces from CCTV footage and the web to create facial recognition databases.
Other applications that will be banned include social scoring; emotion recognition in schools and workplaces; and “AI that manipulates human behavior or exploits people’s vulnerabilities.”
7. Global child deaths reach historic low in 2022 – UN report
The number of children who died before their fifth birthday has reached a historic low, dropping to 4.9 million in 2022.
The report reveals that more children are surviving today than ever before, with the global under-5 mortality rate declining by 51 per cent since 2000.
—
That’s it for this week :)
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I think you might need this almost as much as I did.
Robert De Niro Talks trump
Robert de Niro turns 81 this year. He still is everything Donald Trump is not; talented, intelligent, compassionate and – as far as I know – a man of a man of impeccable integrity.
Here’s Robert De Niro’s full statement about how Donald Trump should NEVER be president again:
“I’ve spent a lot of time studying bad men. I’ve examined their characteristics, their mannerisms, the utter banality of their cruelty.
Yet there’s something different about Donald Trump. When I look at him, I don’t see a bad man. Truly.
I see an evil one.
Over the years, I’ve met gangsters here and there. This guy tries to be one, but he can’t quite pull it off. There’s such a thing as “honor among thieves.” Yes, even criminals usually have a sense of right and wrong.
Whether they do the right thing or not is a different story — but — they have a moral code, however warped.
Donald Trump does not. He’s a wannabe tough guy with no morals or ethics. No sense of right or wrong. No regard for anyone but himself — not the people he was supposed to lead and protect, not the people he does business with, not the people who follow him, blindly and loyally, not even the people who consider themselves his “friends.” He has contempt for all of them.
We New Yorkers got to know him over the years that he poisoned the atmosphere and littered our city with monuments to his ego. We knew first hand that this was someone who should never be considered for leadership. We tried to warn the world in 2016.
The repercussions of his turbulent presidency divided America and rattled New York City beyond imagination. Remember how we were jolted by crisis in early 2020, as a virus swept the world.
We lived with Donald Trump’s bombastic behavior every day on the national stage, and we suffered as we saw our neighbors piling up in body bags.
The man who was supposed to protect this country put it in peril, because of his recklessness and impulsiveness. It was like an abusive father ruling the family by fear and violent behavior. That was the consequence of New York’s warning getting ignored. Next time, we know it will be worse.
Make no mistake: the twice-impeached, 4-time indicted Donald Trump is still a fool. But we can’t let our fellow Americans write him off like one. Evil thrives in the shadow of dismissive mockery, which is why we must take the danger of Donald Trump very seriously.
So today we issue another warning. From this place where Abraham Lincoln spoke — right here in the beating heart of New York — to the rest of America:
This is our last chance.Democracy won’t survive the return of a wannabe dictator. And it won’t overcome evil if we are divided.
So what do we do about it? I know I’m preaching to the choir here. What we’re doing today is valuable, but we have to take today into tomorrow – take it outside these walls. We have to reach out to the half of our country who have ignored the hazards of Trump and, for whatever reason, support elevating him back into the White House.
They’re not stupid, and we must not condemn them for making a stupid choice. Our future doesn’t just depend on us. It depends on them.
Let’s reach out to Trump’s followers with respect. Let’s not talk about “democracy.” “Democracy” may be our holy grail, but to others it is just a word, a concept, and in their embrace of Trump, they’ve already turned their backs on it.
Let’s talk about right and wrong. Let’s talk about humanity.
Let’s talk about kindness. Security for our world.
Safety for our families.
Decency.
Let’s welcome them back.
We won’t get them all, but we can get enough to end the nightmare of Trump, and fulfill the mission of this “Stop Trump Summit.”
For many Robert de Niro may be far too rich and far too Hollywood, but i consider this as straight from the heart. I love this man.
BTW… I have high regards for followers on Tumblr, some I consider as friends without ever having met them, but I completely understand those who get fed up with my political in betweens. I wish you all the best!
Regards,
Geritsel
(Let Donald Trump never ever become president again.)
Q:
Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?
Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.
It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you’re weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it’s weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won’t think it’s weird if you’re someone they’ve seen a few times who says “hey” and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.
I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you’re part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.
If there’s a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.
Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.
In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other’s cars.
Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.
This is also how making friendships at schools works - you’re around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.
If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.
In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I’ll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.
Interesting, important and difficult subject matter.
This is probably the worst that anything has ever aged
You can say that again.
(via mostlysignssomeportents)
At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there’s a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man “ain’t never seen no cheese but orange before” and “I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it’s wrong it’s her fault ok?”
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he’s done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I’m leaning towards “what”.
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Uh oh.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He’s not having it. He’s insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE’S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.
I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.
“YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON’T GET FANCY CHEESE.”
“OR ELSE WHAT?”
“I’m gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN’T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE’S PREGNANT!”
“The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?”
“WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?”
“YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON’T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!”
“YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!”
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
“If your friend doesn’t want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?”
Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.
Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He’s recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he’d do it for free.
“Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it’s really fucked up.” I say
“yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she’s never really had a good job so she can’t pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line.”
“If you haven’t already, check on the rest of your family’s finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents.” Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog’s name is Donut, and he’s her service dog because she’s severely visually impaired.
“Oh, he’s a guide dog?” Asks cheese guy.
“oh, no.” She laughs. “He’s too short, and the way my eyes are, it’s easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn’t be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!”
“Uh.” Says Kirigumi. “He’s been staring at me do I need to back up or..?”
“Ohdear! No, no- He wasn’t looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he’s not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can’t have is to stare in the other direction.”
“OKAY!” Says Kirigumi. “I’m wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something.”
“No, no- he doesn’t care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!”
“Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany.” Says Pinot.
“Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese.” Says cheese guy.
Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they’re planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
Ok so the Wifi wasn’t working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:
- Now that I’ve heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.
- Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.
- Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about “Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?”. The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.
:)
Anyway, it’s 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!
Another inimitable epic from @gallusrostromegalus.
I will simply say this is one of those reports that you will want to read, and leave it at that.
(via petermorwood)
Island of death - Roj Friberg, 1965
Swedish, 1934-2016
Lithograph, 53 x 73 cm,
Salher fort gate, Sahyadri Mountains in Maharashtra, India
I am pretty sure I remember this from Half life 2, below the train bridge.