The Curly Tail Question

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Russell’s dog Betty has been hanging with us for a visit. She’s a good dog, and one of her distinguishing features is her signature curly tail–something that you can’t help but notice while you are waiting, waiting, waiting for Betty to sniff every patch of grass or wet spot on the pavement. The curly tail gives rise to a question: why do some dogs have curly tails, whereas others do not?

The answer seems to be a combination of genetics and . . . human beings. The genetics come into play thanks to a gene called the T-box transcription factor, which affects the development of neural connections for the brain and the spinal cord and is associated with tail shape in dogs, and through production of collagen, which also affects the degree of curl. Humans have had an impact because people historically have liked curly tails in dogs, and for generations have compounded the genetic effect of the T-box transcription factor and collagen production by selectively breeding dogs to enhance the development of curly tails. Some breeds, like the Akita and Chow Chow, are known for their curly tails. Betty clearly has inherited a significant supply of those curly tail genes.

Curly tails also have functional attributes, affecting balance and agility and, for some breeds, enhancing swimming ability. And tails also are an important part of a dog’s communications array. With Betty’s almost circular-shaped, fluffy rear end appendage sweeping through the air in majestic wags, it’s not hard to tell when she is happy. Her ancestors may have had a leg up in getting table scraps as a result, so the curly tail may also have had an impact in the survival of the fittest–or cutest.

For The Fallen

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This Memorial Day, we remember, with gratitude, the service of those who have gone before and made the ultimate sacrifice for the cause of freedom and liberty. The feelings we share on this day of remembrance are deep and difficult to express. One piece that hits the mark is For The Fallen, by British poet Laurence Binyon:

For The Fallen

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted:
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England’s foam.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.

The Summer Drink

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It was a hot one yesterday, with temperatures climbing up into the 80s and bright sunshine blazing through intermittent clouds. Pools all over central Ohio opened, recognizing that the Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial start of summer. Pay no attention to those who argue that the summer solstice on June 20 is when summer technically commences–we all know that the three-day weekend at the end of May is when the season of shorts, t-shirts, and cookouts truly begins.

I walked to the market and, as I was walking back under the sunshine carrying my groceries, I started thinking that with summer here, it was about time to go somewhere and have the official summer adult drink: a cold beer. So after I put away the groceries we headed to the Tip Top, where I enjoyed a frosty pint of Scottish ale.

Beer is an interesting beverage. When I first tried it as a callow youth, I swore I would never drink it again–but after a few more experiments it became an acquired taste. Decades later, beer is firmly entrenched as the summer drink of choice. Few things hit the sweet spot more accurately and resoundingly than a cold beer on a hot day.

The Shot From Hell

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I’ve written before about my failed effort to appreciate the nuances of Malort, the evil-tasting liquor that some people in Chicago perversely love. With Chicago now in the midst of mass emergence of cicada broods, I suppose it was inevitable that some Windy City tavern would come up with the idea of putting a cicada into a shot of Malort–and now that’s happened.

A brewpub in one of the Chicago suburbs is collecting cicadas, cooking them, and then dropping them into bottles of Malort. Patrons at the bar can throw back a cicada-infused shot for a mere $5. I feel confident in predicting that it would be the single worst use of $5 you can possibly imagine. It would be interesting to know how many people have actually ordered such a shot–and managed to keep it down.

The only positive quality of a cicada-infused shot of Malort would be that it can’t possibly taste worse than a regular, non-cicada-infused short of Malort.

The Penguin Plane

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The U.S. Air Force recently released photographs of its new stealth bomber, the B-21 Raider. Not being well-versed in aeronautics, my first reaction on seeing pictures like the one above is that the plane looks like a flying penguin, with beak and all–or, because penguins don’t fly, a penguin skidding on its belly down some icy slope in Antarctica.

The new bomber is now in flight testing at Edwards Air Force Base in California. The photos released by the Air Force, like the one below, show some of the interesting features of the new plane. Like the B-2 bomber, which it resembles, the B-21’s design elements are intended to make it more difficult to pick up the plane on radar. Aviation Week describes some of the features of the B-21 as follows: “The planform itself is driven by the need to accommodate complex inlets and exhausts and a large weapon bay within the flying-wing profile while staying within a maximum thickness-to-chord ratio compatible with efficient flight above Mach 0.8.”

Well, that’s clear as mud, isn’t it? Since I can’t grasp the mechanics or aeronautics, I’ll just stick with thinking that the side view of the plane makes it look like a penguin.

“Lights, Camera, Action” On Gay Street

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Yesterday afternoon I unwisely walked to the library on an uncomfortably hot, humid day that spoke more of a sweltering summer that a delightful, airy spring. But as I walked down Gay Street I noticed that one side of the street was blocked off for a film crew. They had put up lighting towers, set up a replay screen, and had equipment all over the block. The crew was everywhere, too–standing around and chatting with each other, as crew members often do.

This makes the second time this week I’ve seen what appeared to be photography or filming on Gay Street. The first incident was across the street from our office, where a much smaller crew was either filming or taking photos of two women chatting and then walking through the front door of the Due Amici restaurant.

I’m not sure whether these two incidents are connected, but the danger signals are clear: Gay Street is at risk of becoming like German Village, where you often have to veer around photographers taking wedding or engagement photos against the lovely backdrop of vintage buildings, brick sidewalks, and mature trees.

This shouldn’t be surprising, I suppose. The north side of Gay Street between Fourth and Grant looks a lot like German Village, with brick residences, nice gardens, and lots of shade, and the block between High and Third has its own, cool downtown vibe. Those of us who work here will just have to be mindful of the possibility that, on any given day, we might be appearing in the background of a photo shoot or the scene from a movie. Dress accordingly, folks!

The Next Step In The NIL World

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Once Name Image and Likeness (“NIL”) deals became permissible for college athletes, and huge sums of money became part of the recruitment process, it was inevitable that lawsuits would ultimately follow. Yesterday that shoe dropped for the first time. Jaden Rashada, a highly recruited quarterback, sued the head football coach for the University of Florida and a prominent booster for allegedly reneging on promises to pay millions of dollars.

The lawsuit gives us a glimpse of what the influx of NIL money has done to the college football recruiting process. It alleges that the head coach, the booster, and others defrauded Rashada by promising him $13.85 million to sign with Florida and then, after he turned down other programs offering less money and signed his national letter of intent, backing out of the deal. Among other allegations, the lawsuit asserts that the head coach promised Rashada’s father than he would receive a $1 million “partial payment” after Rashada signed the national letter of intent, but the player never got the money and the boosters didn’t live up to their payment promises.

Allegations in a lawsuit are just that–allegations that haven’t yet been tested by evidence presented in court–but the picture they paint of what the college football recruiting process has now become is pretty amazing. It’s a world that former coaches, like Woody Hayes, simply wouldn’t recognize. As an indication of how much the world has changed in this area, consider this: only a decade or so before the incidents described in this lawsuit, Ohio State football players were suspended for trading autographs and football memorabilia for tattoos, which seems pretty tame by comparison.

Another interesting wrinkle in this is that Rashada ended up going to Georgia–which, like Florida, is in the SEC. CBS Sports reports that Rashada told the Georgia head coach of his plan to sue the Florida head coach, and the Georgia head coach gave his okay. Why not–if highly touted recruits become skeptical about Florida’s NIL promises, that puts Florida at a disadvantage against Georgia and other competing schools. In any case, the lawsuit will make for an interesting game when Georgia and Florida square off this season. Now, rivalries won’t only be contested on the gridiron, but apparently in the courtroom as well.

AI Dating

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App designers seem to be using AI for pretty much every other task, so why shouldn’t it be used to help poor, overburdened, overstressed humanity with dating?

The latest AI concept would emphasize the “artificial” in “artificial intelligence.” An AI avatar would be programmed with a particular individual’s likes, dislikes, interests, pet peeves, and conversational habits, and then go out on the “dating” scene. There your “dating concierge” would interact with other AI bots programmed with a different individual’s characteristics, to determine whether the actual humans they are supposed to artificially depict would be a good match. This “concierge” approach purportedly would allow you avoid going on dozens of awkward, failed dates before you find someone you actually click with.

I’m not sure I would trust AI to accurately represent actual humans on a date, in view of the many stories about generative AI just making things up–but then, humans on dates have been known to occasionally make things up, too, haven’t they? Given the success of matchmaking websites, even more advanced programming could help to further successfully winnow down the field of potential romantic connections.

But at some point, you wonder if this increasing tendency to interpose technology in the personal interactions of people is really a good thing, or whether it is just increasing the sense of isolation and dislocation many people are experiencing. Maybe, just maybe, going through a few bad dates is good for the soul, lets you learn something about yourself and your interpersonal skills, helps you grow and develop as a person, and allows you to gain perspective on what is really important to you in the sense of personal relationships.

When we’ve been out and about over the past few years, we’ve noticed younger people who appear to be on “dates” who are texting away on their smartphones, rather than talking or otherwise paying attention to each other. Who knows? Maybe the future of dating is to sit there and let your avatars do the chatting, so you can keep up with the latest text chain.

Private Equity In The NFL

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When you think of NFL owners, you think of multi-billionaires–individuals like Jerry Jones who seem to have an endless supply of cash and who like the idea of dabbling in sports and, they hope, hoisting a Super Bowl trophy one day. With the exception of the Green Bay Packers franchise, which is owned by a company that has individual shareholders, all NFL teams are owned by a principal individual who has to have at least a 30 percent ownership interest in the team. And while the NFL permits some limited partners to participate in ownership, those slots are limited to individuals or family groups.

That may be about to change, however–due to a combination of skyrocketing valuation of NFL teams and a shrinking number of people who are interested in paying huge sums for teams. As a result, the NFL is now considering whether it should allow private equity firms to invest as limited partners in NFL teams. Private equity firms are a familiar feature of the American economy–with lots of cash at their disposal thanks to the pooled resources of individual investors, they typically look for bargains and investment opportunities that will provide quick returns for their investors.

Investing in an NFL team might be very attractive to a private equity fund, because NFL franchises–even those that aren’t successful on the field–tend to be extremely profitable, thanks to TV revenues, merchandising deals, and other sources of revenue. An investment in an NFL team therefore might help the private equity firm achieve the kinds of returns that investors want. And if the franchise is ultimately sold at one of the mind-boggling prices we’ve seen recently, the private equity fund investors earn another return. In the meantime, the principal owner of the NFL franchise would be able to use the cash invested by the private equity fund to build new stadiums or practice facilities or invest in other opportunities.

It sounds like a match made in heaven, but it would represent a significant change in how the NFL has operated for decades. Typically, limited partners in NFL franchises have no meaningful say in how the team operates. Some private equity firms would probably be comfortable in a silent partner role, but in my experience most private equity firms are extremely focused on achieving those returns for their investors. As a result, they aren’t shy about pushing management of a business in which the fund has invested to take steps to maximize value–which might mean unloading significant assets to achieve an immediate return or taking other steps that change how the business is conducted.

If a private equity firm sinks hundreds of millions of dollars into a non-competitive NFL team, you wonder how long they will be satisfied with the returns they are getting, when they see that more successful teams are realizing even greater profits. If I were a general manager of an underperforming NFL team, I’d be a little leery of a high-powered private equity firm investing in the franchise. They will undoubtedly be paying a lot more attention to the bottom line, and won’t be satisfied with just the opportunity to rub elbows with NFL stars.

Uno Goes To Washington

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Should animals be used as the subjects of lab experiments and product testing? Five years ago the Environmental Protection Agency announced an initiative to phase out and eventually eliminate unnecessary animal testing, but recently the agency cancelled that effort. The EPA’s about-face on the issue brought Uno, a beagle rescued from a breeding and research facility, to Capitol Hill to advocate for humane treatment of research animals.

Uno, shown above, was the first of 4,000 beagles released several years ago from Envigo, a research animal breeding facility in Virginia. After Uno and the other beagles were released from the facility, Uno was taken in by the Kindness Ranch in Hartville, Wyoming. The ranch is a 1,000-acre facility dedicated to taking in former research animals, including beagles, cats, horses, sheep, pigs, and llamas. The staff at the ranch then work to undo the effects of the animals’ prolonged captivity, to help the animals adjust to all of the sights and sounds of the world outside their labs and learn how to interact with other animals and humans who aren’t wearing lab coats. The socialization process takes several months.

Uno apparently was a big hit with elected representatives for both parties–and with a face like his, it’s not hard to see why. And he was a good dog, too, during the visit to Washington, D.C., behaving himself while being petted and hugged by representatives and their staffs and having only one territory-marking accident after encountering some other dogs. The interaction with Senators and Representatives and their staffs was part of the lobbying effort, intended to show that socializing former research animals works.

You can debate whether animals should be the subject of experiments at all, but surely even in these fractured days we can reach consensus that unnecessary animal testing should be ended, and scientists and researchers should be required to explore alternatives before subjecting innocent creatures to experiments. And we can also surely agree that, when their research days are ended, the animals should be treated with decency and kindness and given the opportunity to lead a happy and carefree post-laboratory life. If we’re lucky, Uno’s visit to Congress will help to achieve those goals.

The Point Of Portraits

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The first official portrait of Great Britain’s King Charles, above, was unveiled a few days ago, and it has already generated a lot of controversy. The chief complaint seems to be about the overwhelming red tone of the portrait, which caused one person to remark that it makes Charles look like he is in hell. I’d say it looks more like he’s emerging from a red haze, with his face and his hands leading the way. As for the butterfly–well, maybe that’s to reassure viewers that the subject really isn’t in hell after all.

Being a portrait painter would be a challenge. You could go for the traditional approach, with the subject in a realistic setting, perhaps seated holding a book in a library–and you’d produce a pretty boring painting that wouldn’t be of much interest to anyone other than the subject. Go into any courthouse in America, and you’ll see countless portraits of judges gone by in their robes holding a law book. None of them will be memorable, because all of the portraits basically look the same. I therefore totally understand why portrait painters would have the desire to try something new and different, like the red haze in the Charles portrait or the leafy background in the portrait of President Obama, below.

I like the Charles portrait, myself. To me, the key to any good portrait is whether it is a good likeness of the face, and I think the Charles portrait passes that test. I think the likeness is better, for example, than the likeness of President Obama. And the overwhelming red theme immediately directs the eye and the focus to the face, which is really what you want.

I’m sure there will continue to be controversy about the portrait–but at least it’s memorable.

Outdoor Dining Season

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Yesterday I took my mentees to lunch at the Flatiron restaurant at the north edge of downtown. I specifically chose the Flatiron because I like the food, but I also really like their outdoor patio dining area. It was supposed to be a nice, sunny day, with temperatures in the upper 70s, and that’s how it worked out–which meant we enjoyed perfect conditions for some tasty lunching al fresco, while we sported our sunglasses and tried to look cool.

We’re in the heart of the spring outdoor dining season in Columbus. The season typically doesn’t last all that long, so you’ve got to take advantage of it while you can. You want conditions that are warm enough to allow you to eat outside comfortably–which means it’s got to be at least in the upper 60s–but not so hot that you are sweltering under a blazing sun. Of course, it’s got to be dry, too. In Columbus, that means you’re going to be rained out of any outside option on about half the days during a typical spring, so you’ve got to pick your spots. The spring outdoor dining season lasts from about late April to early June, and the fall season starts in late September and normally runs through mid-October.

I like the Flatiron patio area for an outdoor lunch because it’s got lots of shade, through umbrellas and a few trees planted around the perimeter. It’s one of many outdoor areas you find in downtown Columbus, including patio areas at Tip Top, Due Amici, ESCO, and Tiger + Lily just on our block of Gay Street, plus Condado, Matt & Tony’s, and higher-end options, like Speck and Hank’s. There are a lot of other choices, too, and a French bistro restaurant that will be opening soon in our neighborhood is supposed to have a “wrap-around” outdoor dining area that will start on Gay Street and run around the corner to High Street, too.

Why are so many restaurants featuring outdoor seating areas? I can’t speak for others, obviously, but I like getting some fresh air while I eat, feeling the sunshine on my face and a gentle breeze, too. Of course, you may have to deal with the occasional disruption of a fire truck siren or a loud motorcycle, but it’s a small price to pay. Given the number of new outdoor seating areas we’re seeing around town, I suspect I’m not alone in enjoying an occasional adult picnic.

Bark Snark

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Russell’s dog Betty is staying with us for a visit. She’s a very good dog and a pleasure to host. Her stay also is reacquainting us with canine behavior–like barking.

Betty is not a barker. She communicates primarily through lots of tail-wagging and plaintive, sad-eyed “please feed me because I’m famished” looks, and barks only when she hears an unexpected noise, like a doorbell ring from the TV. But because Betty is here, we’re interacting more with other dogs, and some of them are big-time barkers.

This morning, for example, I took Betty down to answer the call of nature, and we encountered two dogs who immediately started yapping like crazy. Their human pal tried to hush them, but it was a futile effort. The two dogs raised a ruckus, while Betty stayed calm and silent. It was as if she was a bit embarrassed by the whole barking display by her fellow dogs and hoped to encourage them to control themselves by setting an impressive example of quiet restraint. Alas, they didn’t follow her lead.

Why do some dogs bark so much? Veterinary behaviorists note that there are lots of potential reasons, like surprise, territorialism, a desire to make their presence known, or learned behavior because the savvy pooch has realized that her human buddy pays more attention to her when she starts howling. Among older dogs, barking issues might be a sign of hearing loss or even dementia. And some breeds tend to yap more than others. In my experience, barking is often most pronounced in smaller dogs–perhaps because the bark is intended to compensate for their small stature.

I’m glad Betty is not a barker.

The Random Restaurant Tour-LXV

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I was first introduced to a gyro at The Ohio State University. It was an important part of my college education. After enjoying one for an after-class lunch or two, I came to realize that a well-made gyro–without the lettuce and tomato that otherwise would just clutter things up–was also an ideal food to consume after a long night and a few beers at one of the crappy south campus bars. The fluffy pita bread soaked up the alcohol, the meat satisfied the appetite, and the tzatziki sauce cut through and obliterated the lingering beer taste. Add in a side of fries and you’ve got something that will nourish the body, feed the soul, and hopefully prevent the hangover.

In short, a well-made gyro conjures up some good feelings.

So when Dr. Science and I ventured a bit north of the downtown Columbus footprint to the Habibi Grill for lunch yesterday, and I saw gyros on the menu, my food choice was an easy one. Although the Habibi Grill offers a full array of tempting dishes, and even prepares fried falafel and chicken gyros, I had to opt for the traditional lamb option, no lettuce or tomato, with the side of fries. The college day memories would simply allow for no other choice.

I’m pleased to report that the gyro was, in a word, excellent. The lamb was perfectly cooked, the tzatziki sauce had that savory zing, and the pita bread was fluffy and filling. Each mouthful brought back happy memories. The fries nobly served their complementary role, and Dr. Science and I each got some of the Habibi Grill hot sauce, which is made in house, that added a terrific kick to every bite of the fries. The hot sauce was so good it made me remember, wistfully, that homemade hot sauce was not a staple of the gyro joints found on south campus in the ’70s.

The Habibi Grill is just a short drive up Fourth Street in the rapidly developing Italian Village area. There’s plenty of parking, too. It all means one thing: now that I’ve been reminded of the wonders of a well-made gyro, I’ll have to come back.

“I Appreciate You”

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Recently I was interacting with someone at work on an issue, and as we were finishing up our call the person said: “Thanks–I appreciate you.” As is typically the case when I hear that new approach to expressing gratitude, it kind of embarrassed me.

In my experience, “I appreciate you” began to make inroads on “I appreciate it” several years ago. The first time I heard it, I thought the person saying it had misspoken, but then it became clear that this was one of those linguistic developments that happens every so often. And this phrasing seems to be gaining in popularity–although some people seem to find it awkward or otherwise off-putting. I imagine the people who use that phrase like it because it is more directly focused on the person who is providing the help, whereas “I appreciate it” is a bit more abstract and focused on the help that person is providing.

It is undoubtedly for that same reason that it’s a bit embarrassing when I hear that new formulation, just like it’s somewhat embarrassing to hear any personal compliment. I appreciate the sentiment, however–and maybe that’s the whole point. The change in wording take the expression of appreciation out of the rote sentiment category, and into a realm that is more intentional. If someone has given some specific thought to how to say “thank you,” it makes the whole effort more meaningful, doesn’t it?