BASS DOGS

Q. What is this?

A. I noticed that bass players who use their fingers as opposed to a pick look like they’re tickling hairy dogs, so I used computer prowess, my brain and a shovel to badly Photoshop pictures of dogs on top of their basses.

Q. Who does this?

A. @michaelmphysics from Glasgow, Scotland.

Q. Why?

A. There is no why.

Q. Do you own any of these photos?

A. I’ve taken none of the photos, I’ve just used Google to source them, or they’ve been sent to me. You can submit your own, finished or unfinished - dogsasbasses@gmail.com If you own the rights to any of the photos, please let me know and I will be happy to remove them/add a credit. I try to leave watermarks where possible, but I’m happy to add them to the photos themselves.

Q. Do you know you can still see the bass?

A. Yes, I like that bit the best.

Q. Is this meant to be funny?

A. That’s up to you, pal.

Q. Isn’t this promoting animal cruelty?

A. Absolutely not - these are all Photoshopped, you dick. At no point have any dogs or any bassists been harmed in the making of these photos, and I don’t condone anybody using a real dog as a real bass. Don’t be an idiot - be kind to animals!

Q. Why are you mocking people who play the bass with their fingers? You know it’s the best way? You know all the best bassists used their fi…

A. Shh. Stop taking yourself so seriously. This is a celebration, not a criticism.

Q. You know you can use Photoshop to do this much better? You know you can still see th…

A. I know. I like that bit the best.

Q. Can you Photoshop a dog on to my friend who plays the bass?

A. Yes, e-mail a photo to dogsasbasses@gmail.com I get a lot of requests to do this, so please be aware that it may take some time.

Q. Can I submit my own?

A. Yes, e-mail them to dogsasbasses@gmail.com

Q. Why can’t I submit straight to the Tumblr?

A. Because some people are even worse at this than I am. Honestly!

Q. Why haven’t you posted mine yet?

A. Please understand I receive a LOT of requests and submissions, so I’ve got a backlog to get through. I also receive multiple versions of the same bass player but, just because I’ve posted a different version to one you’ve already sent me, it doesn’t mean yours won’t eventually be posted.

Q. Why can’t you use Photoshop right? You know that you can do…

A. I know.

Q. You know that’s Geddy Lee, right?

A. What about the dog of Geddy Lee? I wonder if it barks like an ordinary dog.

Q. Can you post this picture of me playing a real dog as a bass?

A. No. Please don’t send me these photos. I don’t condone any mistreatment of animals, whether you think they’re not being harmed or not, and will not post these photos. Please do not using your real dogs as basses.

Q. What about Bass Cats?

A. Given how empty my life is, that’s quite likely.