If Edgar Allan Poe wrote JavaScript

(New Book “If Hemingway wrote JavaScript” Now Available)

(after The Raven)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I struggled with JQuery,

Sighing softly, weak and weary, troubled by my daunting chore,

While I grappled with weak mapping, suddenly a function wrapping

formed a closure, gently trapping objects that had gone before.

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was while debugging Ember,

As each separate dying member left its host for ever more.

Eagerly I wished the morrow–vainly I had sought to borrow

(From my bookmarked trail of sorrow), APIs from Underscore.

There I sat engaged in guessing the meaning of each cursed expression,

Endless callbacks in procession; nameless functions, nothing more,

This and more I sat divining, strength and spirit fast declining,

Disclose the value we’re assigning! Tell me - tell me, I implore!